


Under the Stars, With You

by mochiseobie



Category: BTOB
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Deep Conversations, Drabble, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, M/M, Stargazing, This is pure fluff, changsub just mentions it as a fear he has, i promise this is not angsty at all, it's not graphic or anything, kinda hints at depression?, not ur typical changjae, romantic or platonic u choose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 06:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19193452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochiseobie/pseuds/mochiseobie
Summary: Sungjae and Changsub talk about some things they never got to express whilst stargazing together in their backyard.





	Under the Stars, With You

"Hyung, do you ever think about what would happen if none of us decided to be idols?"

Changsub turns his head to look at Sungjae, brows furrowing slightly. The wind plays with his hair and leaves it in curly little wisps, framing his stupidly handsome face perfectly. The light of the moon reflects onto his features, and Changsub thinks he would look like an angel if it weren't for the subtle frown between his brows.

"No," he says finally. "It never really crossed my mind."

"Really?" Sungjae faces him, their noses mere centimeters apart because of how close they're laying down next to each other. After seeing him stargazing in their backyard, sprawled out on the grass with his arms resting behind his head, Changsub decided to join him despite it being around three in the morning. With them being like this, he doesn't regret his decision. "I think about it all the time."

"Why?" he inquires, genuinely curious. The way Sungjae's mind works has always been fascinating to him, mostly because he can't understand it often. He thinks that's one of the younger's charms, amongst all the others.

"I don't know," Sungjae mumbles, looking unsure of himself. "I guess I just can't imagine us doing anything else."

That's not the full reason, Changsub knows. It's all in the way Sungjae avoids his gaze, looking back up at the mass of stars above them like that's the end of that subject. Changsub doesn't look away, though, keeping his eyes trained on him as a way to prompt him to speak further. Because if Sungjae really didn't want to talk about it, he wouldn't have brought it up in the first place.

"Sungjae-ya."

An acknowledging hum. Changsub nudges his shoulder gently.

"Spit it out."

Sungjae sighs but complies anyway, albeit in such a small voice that the wind almost sweeps it away. "What if we never met because of that?"

"If we weren't BTOB?"

He nods. Changsub finally looks away to think, lips pursed slightly.  _What if they never met_? He can't even imagine living in a world where he wasn't with his members, laughing and making music and hanging out. The world would seem so empty and boring. Their presence is just too bright, too familiar. Losing them would pretty much mean losing his happiness.

"I don't know," he murmurs helplessly. "I think I'd always feel like something is missing in my life."

"Same," the other agrees quietly. "I think that's why I can't stop thinking about it. Because... it scares me."

Changsub glances at Sungjae from the corner of his eye. The frown is still present but there's a subtle bashfulness to his features, the tips of his ears crimson against the green grass.

The older smiles. Of course expressing something like this would make Sungjae embarrassed - with his tsundere-like personality, Changsub is surprised that he even admitted to feeling this way. But he likes it because it shows Sungjae's growth and maturity as a person. No way would past Yook Sungjae express his emotions so straightforwardly, especially to  _Changsub,_ of all people.

"It is scary to think about," he says. "But at the same time, don't you think our bond is too strong for us to not meet one way or another? Even if we weren't BTOB, even if we were all doing different things, I think life would find a way for the seven of us to get together."

The corners of Sungjae's lips curl upwards as he looks at Changsub again, the other looking back at him. Relief floods his chest at the sight of Sungjae's frown being replaced with a smile.

"You're right," he agrees. "Our chemistry is too amazing for us to not be destined to be together." 

Changsub chuckles. "Exactly."

Sungjae grins, and this time Changsub thinks that the younger definitely looks like an angel sent from above. He returns the grin, playfully ruffling Sungjae's hair just because he wants to before looking away again.

It's quiet for a while, neither of them saying something to fill the silence. It's comfortable. Familiar. Changsub thinks that he could stay like this forever, admiring the stars with the warmth of Sungjae's presence by his side, engulfing him and making him feel whole. It's not often that they do this, especially in such a serious manner. It's more like them to bicker about useless things that none of them truly care about. But this is nice. He likes this a lot.

Sungjae suddenly shuffles closer, resting his head on the crook of Changsub's neck. His hands reach down to grab onto Changsub's slightly smaller one and absentmindedly play with his fingers, his eyes watching watching them carefully. Changsub can't help but shake his head in amusement at the antic, though his heart picks up in speed nonetheless.

"Is there anything you're scared of, Changsubie-hyung?"

"Of course there is," he replies, watching Sungjae press their palms together gently. "I'm human, after all. Everyone has their fears."

"Tell me about them."

"You know most of them already," he reminds him. "Like my fear of heights, rollercoasters, bugs-"

"Not like that," Sungjae interrupts him, moving his head a little to look up at him. "I mean a deeper fear, like mine. I don't care about the generic ones."

"Fine," Changsub says. He thinks about it for a while, his gaze focused on their joined hands. What is his deepest fear? There's nothing that straight away comes to mind, even though he bets he's pondered about it frequently whenever he was alone. "...the fear of not being happy."

He can feel Sungjae's eyes boring into him, looking at him with surprise and wonder. It's probably not the answer he expected, but Changsub is pretty sure that's how he genuinely feels. If he wasn't happy, there'd be no point in pretty much anything, because without happiness there's no motivation and no motivation leads to  _nothing_.

"Happiness is the most important thing in life, don't you think?" he inquires, meeting Sungjae's gaze.

"Isn't that supposed to be health?"

Changsub shrugs. "Maybe," he responds. "I think happiness comes first, though. Because if you think about it, isn't being happy part of being healthy too? Health isn't just physical; it's mental, too. And depending on how well our mental health is, our entire lives get affected in different ways."

"That makes sense," Sungjae agrees. "But what makes it so terrifying?"

"Being weak mentally can mean a lot of things, but being unhappy is one of them. And when that happens, everything around you gradually becomes dull and you don't feel like doing anything,  _at all_. You get trapped inside this mindset that convinces you everything is pointless and once that happens, there's no easy way out. You're up against yourself,  _your own mind that has turned against you_ , and to me that's absolutely terrifying."

"That is pretty terrifying, actually," Sungjae murmurs. He looks deep in thought, even as he fumbles with Changsub's fingers as a distraction. "Is that why you're never serious? Why you always joke around and stuff?"

"In a way, yeah," Changsub answers. "I'd just rather be cheerful all the time than miserable. Because then people laugh and enjoy themselves around me, and that means they're happy so that makes me happy, too. It's pretty much a win-win thing." 

Sungjae hums in agreement. There's a moment of silence before Sungjae speaks up again, his head burying itself back into the crook of Changsub's neck.

"Are you happy, hyung?"

"Right now?" the older raises a brow. He smiles when Sungjae nods his head against him and intertwines their fingers. "I'm very happy, Sungjae-ya."

"Because you've got me beside you?" Sungjae questions, tilting his head up with a little grin.

Changsub snorts. "Yes, you idiot," he answers. "I've got to keep warm somehow. It's pretty chilly out here, you know."

At that, Sungjae's grin disappears. Changsub laughs.

"Is that all I am to you?" the younger inquires dramatically, moving away from Changsub and sitting up with his arms crossed, a cute little pout on his face. "A radiator to keep you warm?"

"Yes, what else would you be?" Changsub says just to tease him further, giggling when Sungjae narrows his eyes at him. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Just come back here, I'm getting cold."

He holds his arms out for him, though he's only met with a stubborn huff.

"No. You can freeze after saying that now."

"Sungjae-ya~" Changsub whines, tugging on the sleeve of Sungjae's long -sleeve shirt. "Come cuddle me~"

Sungjae still doesn't resist, so Changsub huffs and wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him down so he was beside him again. Sungjae yelps in surprise but doesn't do much to resist further, only staring at Changsub with a somewhat expectant gaze. Changsub cant help but smile knowingly at that.

"Still such a child," he mumbles. He leans forward to press a soft kiss onto Sungjae's forehead, then leans back to raise a brow at him. "Is that what you wanted?"

"I'm not five, hyung," Sungjae bickers, though the red on both his cheeks and ears prove that Changsub is right. "I don't need your forehead kisses."

Changsub hums disbelievingly, then dives back in to kiss both of Sungjae's cheeks just because he wants to. "Whatever you say, brat."

The younger's blush darkens and he hides his face in Changsub's neck, his arms snaking around Changsub's slim waist. The warmth Changsub had temporarily lost instantly doubles from before. He holds him close, the wind skimming past his face and hair as he rests his cheek on top of Sungjae's head.

He still wonders how they can fit together so perfectly; like pieces of a puzzle. Even despite the slight height difference the position isn't awkward at all, it's more comfortable and  _right_ than anything else. It's always been like that, he thinks, even when they were trainees and weren't as close. That fact makes him hold Sungjae even closer.

"Changsub-hyung?" Sungjae suddenly mumbles, puffs of his warm breath ghosting across Changsub's neck.

"Yeah?" Changsub mumbles back.

"I'm glad that you're happy when you're with me," Sungjae says, voice shy but audible. "Because I'm happy when I'm with you, too."

Changsub smiles widely. "I know, Sungjae-ya," he murmurs. "I'm glad for that, too."

 

**Author's Note:**

> hello again! im back with another one shot lol  
> this one is completely random and something i wrote bc im missing changjae a lot lately TT i miss their stupid bickering (i also just miss all the members a lot, but thats besides the point) 
> 
> thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed it! <33


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